A Happy Home…Myth or Reality?
Wednesday, 2nd of September 2009
On Sunday afternoon I had the privilege of officiating at my 27th wedding since starting Suburban. Rain was threatening as the limos pulled up to the little path that would lead the bridal party to rows of white chairs which were carefully set up for an outdoor garden ceremony. After a few drops of rain spit down out of the sky, things quickly turned around and it seemed as if God was smiling at David & Sonia while the ceremony unfolded in bright sunshine. As this clearly besotted couple repeated their vows to one another, I was reminded again of why I invest so much time and energy in the institution of marriage. God indeed was smiling, because this was His idea in the first place! A wedding is usually like the one on Sunday, all smiles and tears and beautiful dresses and flowers and romance and music and dancing and family and friends! With all of that beauty and happiness at the start of this, God’s institution, how does it all seem to go so wrong in many homes? And why is that also true in Christian homes where we as God’s people should know better?
Answering that question is sometimes very complex and is not the same for every marriage breakdown. There are however certain principles which do apply here and can be a great help in understanding what has gone wrong. The first of those principles is the fact that we are in a constant battle with our flesh, which tends toward selfishness, unloving behavior and disobedience. We will struggle with those things in our lives individually until we are one day sanctified for good in heaven. When we make the ‘choice’ to love one another as husband and wife, we are in fact saying that we choose to die to self, practice loving behaviors and follow God’s instructions for having a Christ honoring marriage. Remember that love is a choice, and while feelings will accompany that choice, we cannot determine our decisions and actions based on feelings but they must be based on our choice to obey God and love each other!
The second principle that I want to mention is submission to one another as God’s people. The concept of submission has been clouded by misunderstanding and the meaning is often lost in the unending debate and arguments about roles and who should submit more. The Bible is clear about marital roles and leaves no doubt about the submission/headship issue which we have dealt with at length. But here I want you to look at submission as it is to be lived out by every believer. Submission at its very basic meaning is to subject oneself to another and is best illustrated by the example of the Lord Jesus when He subjected Himself to all of us. He became human, lived on this earth and died in our place for sin! That submission was the ultimate sacrifice and Paul used that sacrifice to illustrate how we are to respond to each othe
r and have that same mind that the Savior had when He subjected Himself to us. (Philippians 2:5-8) That is to be the predominant attitude which we have at home as we interact with each other as husband and wife. If we practice that, then we are well on the way to having a home which is not only happy but is filled with the blessing of God! A happy home is not a myth, it can be a reality if we will choose to obey God and follow His directions in how we treat one another.
Sunday we will address the topic of God’s Design for the Church as it concerns men and women and their roles. I trust that you will come with your hearts and minds open to God’s Word and what he has to say to you. Please post any questions or comments you may have so that I can know what you are thinking! Some more scripture to meditate on…
Philippians 2:5-8
5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Your Shepherd,